How Revenge of the Sith Should've Gone
by A Mare Undercover
Summary: What if Star Wars Episode 3 went like this? The Empire never came to be because Obi Wan and a group of random Jedi got drunk twice on 'Blue Milk', Padme is oblivious to all of the events that happened, Anakin never turned to the Dark Side, and Ahsoka's fate after the Clone Wars TV show's events is revealed. Inspired by The Wrong Pregnancy written by Strategos Lykos. Read and review
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Disney. I also don't own the song Popular from Wicked.

It all began after the Invisible Hand crashed landed on Coruscant. Before this happened, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker had killed Count Dooku while he and his master Obi Wan Kenobi were attempting to rescue Chancellor Palpatine from General Grievous. Anyways, back to the story, Anakin was having a conversation with Senator Bail Organa about his heroics before he saw a familiar figure in the shadows.

"Excuse me for one moment, Senator." Anakin told him. "You're excused." Senator Organa nodded as he walked off.

Anakin ran over to the figure in the shadows who was revealed to be his wife, Senator Padme Amidala. The couple embraced lovingly in the shadows, keeping their love a secret like they've always had.

"I missed you, Padme." Anakin whispered to his wife, holding her hand. "There were whispers…that you've been killed. I'm so glad that you're ok." Padme sighed in relief.

"I'm alright. It feels like we've been apart for a lifetime." Anakin said before kissing Padme. Suddenly, after the kiss, Padme nervously pulled away from Anakin and stared at him with a worried expression.

"Are you alright? You're trembling." Anakin questioned as he noticed his wife's worried stare. "Oh, Ani. I…I don't know how to explain this." Padme said nervously.

"You're hiding something, Padme. I can sense it through the Force." Anakin pointed out. "Just tell me what's wrong. I promise not to get angry at you."

"It's…it's about Obi Wan." Padme confessed, looking away from her husband. "What? What did Obi Wan do?" Anakin asked in shock.

"There's something terribly wrong with him…" Padme began. "Go on." Anakin nodded while waiting for her to continue.

"He's a drunk…I…I saw a flask in his robes…before you came over to see me." Padme finished sadly. "WHAT?!" Anakin shouted with a shocked expression.

"I'm so sorry you had to hear this, Ani. I'm afraid it's all true. On the night before you and Obi Wan left for your mission to rescue the Chancellor, he and a group of Jedi got drunk and spent the whole night singing at the top of their lungs while drinking 'Blue Milk'." Padme explained. Anakin turned away and remained silent, his back turned to his wife.

"I can't believe this…" Anakin muttered to himself. "Anakin…you're not angry at me, right?" Padme asked nervously as she gripped his hand.

"No…" Anakin whispered, his voice barely audible before he walked off. Padme shook her head sadly and watched her husband walk off, hoping that he wasn't angry at her.

Meanwhile, Obi Wan was seen in his quarters at the Jedi Temple, brushing the dust off of his curtains and forgetting about his troubles. He seemed completely at peace…until Anakin walked in.

"HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME, YOU FLITHY DIRT EATING SON OF A NERFHERDER?! HOW COULD YOU?!" Anakin shouted angrily. Sure, this would have him lean closer to the path of the Dark Side, but he didn't care; he was angry with his master for keeping this secret from him all these years.

"Anakin, I apologize for keeping this a secret from you for so long." Obi Wan apologized. "I know that we have to make up sometime and I promise to turn myself in to the council as a punishment for my stupidity of getting drunk that night."

"NO! NO MORE PROMISES OR APOLOGIES, OBI WAN! I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU WHEN YOU TURN YOURSELF IN TO THE COUNCIL! I COULD BREAK YOUR NECK RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW IF I WANT TO! I WAS YOUR PADAWAN!" Anakin screamed in anger. "Anakin, calm down! Please don't hurt me!" Obi Wan yelled with a panicked expression.

Anakin suddenly froze, his anger slowly fading. "I'm…I'm sorry, Obi Wan. I'm so sorry. You were like my brother! Now…I…I just don't know what to think of you now…" He sobbed, running out of Obi Wan's quarters in tears. Obi Wan just stood in the middle of his quarters, speechless at his apprentice's words.

That night, Anakin had calmed down and was watching Padme brush her hair on a balcony of their quarters. "Ani, I have some great news: I got a word from your former padawan, Ahsoka. She's now living at the Lake Country in Naboo at the Varykino retreat, my family's old home. I hope we can visit her sometime." Padme explained with a grin.

Anakin smiled slightly, remembering the adventures he used to have with Obi Wan and Ahsoka. "I heard she has a huge Shaak herd now. She's very successful in selling them and making a ton of money in the business." Padme added.

"You're so…beautiful." Anakin sighed as he admired Padme's beauty. "It's only because I'm so in love." Padme smiled.

"No, it's because I'm so in love with you." Anakin chuckled. "So love has blinded you?" Padme asked.

"Well, that's not exactly what I meant." Anakin answered with a laugh. "But it's probably true." Padme grinned.

Hours later, Anakin had a nightmare where Obi Wan was seen drinking glass after glass of 'Blue Milk' while a chorus of drunken Jedi were heard singing loudly.

Jedi: Popular! You're gonna be popular! I'll teach you the proper ploys when you talk to boys, little ways to flirt and flounce, I'll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair. Everything that really counts to be popular, I'll help you be popular! You'll hang with the right cohorts, you'll be good at sports, know the slang you've got to know, so let's start, 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go!

Anakin woke up with a start, sweating and panting in a panic. He stared at Padme who was sleeping next to him and sighed, getting out of bed and walking off to the living room as the drunken Jedi were still heard singing loudly downstairs. Padme woke up and noticed that Anakin wasn't next to her.

In the living room, Anakin sat in silence, unable to think while the drunken voices of the Jedi echoing through his head as they continued to sing. Padme entered the room and approached her husband, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"What's bothering you?" Padme asked. Anakin turned towards her and answered, "Nothing."

His hand went to Padme's necklace that he gave to her when they were young. "I remember when I gave this to you." Anakin smiled slightly. "How long is this going to take for us to be honest with each other?" Padme asked in annoyance.

"It was a dream." Anakin answered as he looked away from Padme. "Bad?" She asked.

"Like the ones I used to have about my mother before she died." Anakin replied. "Go on." Padme said.

"And it was about Obi Wan." Anakin continued. "Tell me." Padme begged.

"He's addicted to 'Blue Milk'." Anakin finished. "Huh…weird. His flask was filled with that stuff." Padme commented.

"So, you believe me?" Anakin questioned. "I actually do." Padme nodded. "You should tell the Chancellor, Ani."

"How do I know I should trust him? I've heard rumors that he's a Sith Lord planning to overthrow the Republic and make it into an Empire. I've also heard that he plans on making a secret weapon that can destroy planets." Anakin explained. "Well, then you should warn the Jedi Council." Padme suggested.

"I will, but first, tomorrow, I'll confront the Chancellor." Anakin said. "Alright, I wish you luck tomorrow." Padme nodded.

The next day, Chancellor Palpatine was in his office signing some papers at his desk until Anakin walked in. The Chancellor looked up and said, "Oh, hello, Anakin…I wasn't expecting you to show up in my office. Did the council send you?"

"No, they didn't send me." Anakin responded. "It sounds like you have a problem with them, is that right?" Palpatine asked.

"This isn't about the council, my master has an addiction to 'Blu—"Anakin began, but he was interrupted by Palpatine. "The council never trusted you, correct?" Palpatine interrupted.

"Look, I wasn't talking about—"Anakin protested. "The council doesn't trust me either." Palpatine said.

"I sense that, but this is about my master's 'Blue—"Anakin nodded with a worried expression. "They made you do something to make you feel uncomfortable, didn't they?" Palpatine asked.

"No, they didn't. Please, listen to me!" Anakin begged. "I'm listening…" Palpatine said as he stopped rambling random things for once.

"You see, Chancellor, my master, Obi Wan, is addicted to 'Blue Milk' and—"Anakin began, but Palpatine continued rambling. "Have you ever heard of the tale of Darth Plagueis the Wise?" Palpatine asked.

"Who's Darth Plagueis the Wi—"Anakin questioned. "You speak about avoiding death, correct?" Palpatine interrupted the Jedi Knight.

"Um, no?" Anakin replied. "It's a legend. Darth Plagueis was a Sith Lord who was so powerful and so wise that he could use the Force to bring beings back from the dead. He had such knowledge of the Dark Side that he can influence midi chlorians to create life." Palpatine explained.

"So, he could save people from death using the Force?" Anakin asked. "And what the heck are midi chlorians?"

"The Dark Side of the Force is a powerful way to many abilities, some considered to be unnatural." Palpatine said.

"Look, I just wanted to talk to someone about my master's 'Blue Milk' problem, not about how 'evil' the council is and all this nonsensical stuff about Darth Plagueis and midi chlorians." Anakin explained.

"They don't trust you, Anakin. They can see your future. They know your power will be too strong to control." Palpatine explained.

"What are you talking about? They trust me with their lives!" Anakin questioned with a puzzled expression.

"My mentor taught me everything I know about the Force. Even the nature of the Dark Side." Palpatine said.

"You know the Dark Side?!" Anakin asked in shock.

"Anakin, if one were to understand the mystery behind the Force, one must study it. Beware of the Jedi, Anakin…they fear you." Palpatine explained.

"I'll never play a part in your little game!" Anakin snapped.

"Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi. Learn to use the Dark Side of the Force and you'll be able to save your wife from certain death." Palpatine smirked.

"What? Why are you bringing Padme into this?" Anakin asked in shock.

"Use my knowledge, I beg you…" Palpatine said.

"Never! Tell me why you brought Padme into this conversation that makes no sense!" Anakin demanded.

"I've always known about your marriage, Anakin." Palpatine smiled evilly.

"You ARE a Sith Lord! So, the rumors ARE true!" Anakin exclaimed, activating his lightsaber and swinging it toward Palpatine.

Before Palpatine could speak up, his head flew off of his body, landing a few feet towards the window as the body collapsed in front of Anakin once his lightsaber hit his neck. Suddenly, a sonic boom echoed throughout the entire galaxy, ridding any evil or darkness from the Force and the galaxy itself.

Meanwhile, at the Jedi Temple, Obi Wan, sitting on his chair, suddenly felt something in the Force like over a million voices were cheering in joy. "Fulfilled the Prophecy, Skywalker has…" Yoda told the other Jedi.

"I can't believe it…he actually fulfilled his destiny…" Mace Windu said in shock.

"Hmmm, this is interesting…" Yoda mused.

"I'm proud of Anakin for fulfilling the prophecy…but what'll happen to me?" Obi Wan asked while pulling out his flask of 'Blue Milk' and staring at it.

"Told us about your addiction, the Force has." Yoda said as he stared at Obi Wan.

"We can guess that while we decide what to do about your obsession is that we will ban 'Blue Milk' on every planet." Windu explained.

"Inform the Senators immediately, we will." Yoda stated with a nod.

"We better start plans to end the Clone Wars as well as elect a new chancellor before we ban all 'Blue Milk' in the galaxy." Windu suggested.

"You win, Master Windu. With the ban on 'Blue Milk', I suggest that you start with mine." Obi Wan sighed in defeat, handing Windu his 'Blue Milk' flask.

"Now, who's going to tell Skywalker the good news?" Windu asked as he dumped out Obi Wan's 'Blue Milk' into a trash can before dropping the flask in.

"Send Senator Padme, I will." Yoda answered. He then went to find Padme to have her look for Anakin and tell him about the good news as well as a new age beginning and the ban of all 'Blue Milk'.


	2. Ending

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Disney.

19 years later…

Nineteen years ago, Obi Wan defeated General Grievous and Windu arrested the Separatist Leaders on Mustafar as well as Palpatine's remaining followers, ending the Clone Wars and bringing even more peace to the galaxy. Sometime afterwards, Obi Wan resigned from the Jedi Order since he was still regretting the 'Blue Milk' incident despite the fact that 'Blue Milk' was going to be banned throughout the galaxy, now living in Tattooine as an old hermit known as Ben Kenobi, knowing that would be the last place Anakin, Padme, and the rest of the Jedi would find him. Only Yoda knew about his whereabouts. After Obi Wan resigned, he gave Anakin his seat on the Jedi Council as an apology gift, but Anakin was still denied the rank of Master. Despite that, he couldn't help, but feel relieved that the Council approved of his marriage with Chancellor Padme Amidala. Padme's first orders were to get rid of the rule of Jedi not falling in love and ban all 'Blue Milk' in the galaxy. Speaking of Anakin and Padme's marriage, they ended up having twins named Luke and Leia. As for Obi Wan, he decided to forget about the 'Blue Milk' incident since it was in the past and all 'Blue Milk' was banned, but he still has flashbacks (he gets the flashbacks every time he looks at a glass or bottle of alcohol or when he visits the cantina) or nightmares about it.

So, it all happened in what was a normal day for Obi Wan AKA Ben. He would wake up, go trade his old Jedi stuff away, go to the cantina, and go back home to clean his house. But as he got back home from the cantina to prepare to clean up his house, he sensed a familiar presence.

"Anakin?" Obi Wan asked when he sensed a nineteen year old boy with blue eyes and blonde hair wearing a white shirt, beige pants, and beige boots along with a brown belt with his lightsaber dangling from it, reminding him of…"Wait, is that Anakin's son?!"

He ran to the window to see two figures exploring the area around them. "Aw, come on, Leia! Father said we can hang out here for a while until he gets back! It'll be fine!" Luke reassured his sister, a girl the same age as him with brown eyes and brown hair tied in a cinnamon bun style wearing a white dress, a silver belt with a blaster dangling from it, and white boots.

"I can't believe that Father left us here on his home planet while he had to run a few errands!" Leia groaned. "I'm sure he'll get back to pick us up soon. We'll just have to chill out here." Luke shrugged.

"Oh, for the Force's sake, Luke! He left us to hang out on a giant dust ball covered in sand while he had to run some errands! Why couldn't he just leave us on Naboo? At least we would be with Ahsoka's place at the lake country!" Leia said sarcastically. "Whatever you say, Princess Leia. This place isn't really that bad." Luke pointed out.

"Hey, isn't that Father's ship?" Leia asked, noticing a ship landing on the ground. "Are you happy now, Leia?" Luke questioned sarcastically as the two ran towards the ship excitedly.

"So, Anakin has a son and a daughter now?" Obi Wan asked. "I have a bad feeling about this…"


End file.
